The song freak by muse is resonating in my head whilst I try and breath through the pain of sitting cross legged and completely still during meditation. You know the line, “what the hell am I doing here, I don’t belong here”.
It’s short lived as a chipmunk joins us for class and starts shrieking at the front of class, at least I think that’s what it is, or is it a bird? I don’t know, I’m remaining focused on the pain in my legs and feet and not getting distracted, honest. Then to top it all of the sound of the bread delivery man is also ringing out in the background, my legs are still hurting, the chipmunk, can someone please get me a shotgun.
Once our 15 minute meditation is over our teacher discusses with us about the distractions and how we shouldn’t be distracted but to be mindful of where we are, we are in the hills of Sri Lanka in a wonderful place, so if a random animal like the chipmunk joins class and starts making a noise we can, if we want, take a look. Trying to murder it though is a different matter, yep I knew you were right muse, I don’t belong here!
Not sleeping well last night didn’t help get me off to the right start to the day and I can feel a lot of negativity around me, I have a glow around me like the ready break kid but not in a good way. I’m not ready for anything, just ready for a fight.
Once the agony of meditation is over we start working on our Sacral Shakra, the water element, for this mornings session. The session was good and we were guided well through how to adopt the positions easily and given little bits of knowledge missing to help us understand how positions should feel. We worked on flowey positions and the session was hip focused. I feel the level has risen since yesterday and today’s session is slightly harder, but that may be because my hip flexors are as tight as scaffolding poles.
I didn’t push myself today, I did the complete work out but I did not attempt any of the harder options when they were offered, I’m not in a accidental faceplant kind of mood. We had adopted something I think was called standing pigeon which you can then convert to a flying pigeon. I managed to adopt standing pigeon and I was happy here, I had my balance and I was in a happy place (as happy as you can be when you are a grumpy person). The instructor then started to make a bee line for me, (they know don’t they, they can see when your not at your full limit and that you could push yourself a little bit more). I knew she would adjust me because I looked solid and comfortable, I could sense she was going to try and turn my standing pigeon into a flying pigeon and then that means I would adopt dying pigeon. Today this pigeon was going to survive, “I’m good, I’m good thanks” I told her before she tried to break through my outer glow!
We start the wind down relaxation at the end of class and I’m genuinely thinking that maybe is should find a new hobby, maybe this isn’t for me.