Scheisse, I’ve broken the iron


There is an iron in Dortmund that works a little less efficiently after I used it, as the locals would say “scheisse”.

Unlike some hotels I’ve stayed in, I don’t have to phone reception and ask for an iron and board only to be told they only have and iron not a board, although this isn’t a problem, I’ve mastered the art of using a towel and desk to get the job done. Another annoying thing is, they aren’t always the highest quality and I’d sometimes be better rubbing my hands together and using that heat to rub my clothes smooth. The worst thing is when someone has burnt their clothes and the bottom of the iron is sticky which marks your clothes. How did they get it hot enough to burn?

Excited is pushing it, but pretty bloody happy that I have an iron and ironing board in my room. I like to make sure all my clothes are ironed before I pack them but it’s a waste of time as they always need a top up when I get to my destination.

This is good, it has a steam function, my life is complete. I get the kettle so I can put some water in it and re iron all my clothes. Upon lifting the water cover I am greeted by what looks like a small rubber plug covering a tiny hole, it couldn’t be the actual hole, I’d need a small syringe to get water in there!

At this point I’d like it to be known that the lighting in hotels is not the best, they never seem to have a central light, just lots of spotlights around the edges and Lamps on stands in corners. Having said that, the lights at the side of the bed could be used to gain information from someone during interrogations, but the only place that is truly lit up is the bathroom. I think it’s the same level lighting they use at Wembley, which isn’t great when you want to use the bathroom at night and not burn your retinas. Seeing a HD version of my naked self in the mirror was a little bit disappointing, but could be the kick up the arse I need to stop eating so much.

In my slightly dull room I pull the plug to reveal that it wasn’t a plug after all, but a seal but for what I don’t know, bugger.

All is not lost, I’ll just push it back in. Not a simple task actually and all I end up doing is playing mini whack a mole with the seal. It’s not helping and I don’t manage to sort it properly but I can close the lid and hide the problem.

I then spend the next 30 mins ironing things twice as long as I need to as the iron keeps leaking water over my clothes and the ironing board, bugger.

Note to self: fully inspect water input area of unknown iron before taking iron apart and making a lot more work for myself.

I’m not has happy as I was earlier but I do have ironed clothes.