I think the cleaner is trying to kill me!

I’m in Berlin this week, I’ve been before although I couldn’t really tell you what it’s like. All I ever do is get to the hotel, walk from the hotel to the range each day and then drive away when my competition is complete. I’m sure it’s a lovely place and the people are lovely but I think the cleaner is trying to kill me.

Each day I wake up, early, due to the fact that my curtains won’t close correctly. There is a gap at the top which no one could reach without a ladder or go, go gadget arms. It does seem odd to me that there is a gap as there are clearly 3 spare hanger upper things in the middle preventing them from closing, why would you do that?

Think the actual sun is in my room

Curtains issue aside I go about my daily routine of getting up, showering etc, tidying my room, so when the cleaner comes in she doesn’t judge me and leaving for breakfast. As I leave my room I am met by the incredibly enthusiastic cleaning lady, who speaks broken German even worse than I do, she then thanks me for letting her into the room. Even on the day I didn’t want her to clean my room she came in and I think she told me my room was not tidy and she needed to sort it out! Well that’s what I think she said as she pushed past me and started pointing at things.

Every day when I return from the range, I go to my room, find my PJ’s immaculately folded on the bed, and my shower cleaned to hospital standards. I switch the shower on, undress and by the time I go to get in, there is enough steam for it to count as a sauna. For some reason she has set it to the Thermo nuclear hot and left it there. The next 1-2 mins are spent timidly reaching in and bit by bit turning it to an acceptable level of heat. As I step in my foot slides on the immaculate floor and I almost do the splits.


The first day this happened I assumed it was because I wasn’t paying attention. Sadly this has happened every day for the last 5 days.

Eat, sleep, fail at showering, repeat