Hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk to you again. It’s been a while since I’ve been here but Simon and Garfunkel are alive and well in my head right now.
We’ve completed a chakra workshop, a back bend workshop and we have also done heart openers but the hip workshop is defo not for me. I’m half way through class, very happy that I completed 20 mins of meditation without moving and only thinking about what the cleaner was up to twice.
We’ve been doing all sorts of hip opening stances and I have been struggling to get through the pain, then it happened, the yoga instructor did a fib. You know how they all have a special timer when they count and 1 second last for 3 secs? Well we were in what I believe to be goddess pose (it might not be correct as I was in a bad place at the time) and the instructor said, we will hold for 2 more breaths, there was a pause (during which I thought ok you can do this for 2 more) but then she started counting WITH A 6! I’m like nope I’m out, you can’t just change that shit up on me, I trusted you and now I’m in a bad angry dark place.
I try to carry on with the rest of the class but it’s hard. I’ve lost the love and I don’t know how to get it back. Now we are doing lotus variations and my variation is pretty special, it’s more lotus with weed killer, the pain is immense and then the bread man starts his tune in the background, dig deep Zoe, dig deep.
Nope my shovel is broken, I’m never doing yoga again. Well once I’ve done this week anyway, I’ll finish this week off of course.
We lie in savasana at the end of class and the instructor comes around with some oils and to push down your shoulders to make you more grounded. I don’t think it’s going to help, it won’t improve my mood I’m sure, but then it comes, the calming hands hold my shoulders down and I take a deep breath and feel my darkness pass. The bread man music also stops, maybe I can stick it out a little longer.